Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We are two peas in an std pod
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
