I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
