I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
