so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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