Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
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i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
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The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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