you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
