curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
