He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
