Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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