This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
