Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
