so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you will always have a special place in my vag
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
