that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
