I wish i was in the wii world.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize