from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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