I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
