So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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