Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Randomize
