FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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