Kiss
Puke
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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