I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Randomize