I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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