I would go down on you faster than GM stock
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
