So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
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he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
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Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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