she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
