There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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