Someone shit on the floor
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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