Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
