Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
