i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
organizing the empties. That sober.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Randomize
