Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
