Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize