They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
