you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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