Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
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We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
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does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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