You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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