well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
