I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
