their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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