hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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