and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You pole danced in your parka.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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