they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
