I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
actually, I'm a sock model
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
