So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
