What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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