Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Randomize
