I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.