I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.