Swine flu. Run for my life!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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