Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
