Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
