How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
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