How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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