He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
