and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
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you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
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Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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