i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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