My balls are so social today.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
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please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
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No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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